Love Me , Secretly?
by PunkPoetry
Summary: Jade's  long  explanation of why Tori sings ' Tell Me That You Love Me '  the look Jade gives Tori when she's singing and touches her . Possibly complicated time shifts. Lead up to Jori/Jori/Jori breakup/?/...I love Jori too much. JORI
1. I Don't Hate You

**I really need to stop starting to write new stories, the story (this one) I've been writing lately (but not uploading) isn't even on here. I thought it was part of one of my other Jori stories but it's not. Well , I've written quite a lot for this so I just need review to remind/encourage me to upload the next chapter. **

'Stop mocking me, Vega.'

'Oh, ouch last name!' She rolled her eyes and walked away.

'You know what?' I shouted at her across the deserted hallway.

She turned and shouted back. ' What?'

'I didn't mean it.'

'Yeah, well I did and I'm not afraid to admit it. Until you're strong enough to do that don't bother talking to me.'

Crap. What did I just do? Did she just...?

'Tori!' She just kept on walking.

I'd messed it all up, everything. And for what? My stupid reputation.

Xo

That day ,the first time I admitted it was the worst and best day of my life , she made it better , of course she was the only one that could.

Xo

'Jade, we're done this time. Don't try and win me back with dogs or anything,like last time . Even she won't help you now. I hate you, everyone hates you.' The words were like daggers and I ran. I don't remember choosing to go to the janitor's closet ; I was just kind of taken there.

He was right ,I was mean and selfish and jealous ; everyone hates me. The tears were falling freely now as I slide onto the floor.

The knock on the door was unexpected and I nearly stabbed her with the scissors in my hand as she walked in.

'... Jade?' Of course she knew I was here, she was probably the only one who knew I liked it here and she'd known me for less than them.

'Jade?' She sat down beside me; I couldn't speak. I couldn't raise my head from its place on my knees, hiding the probable makeup stain .

She tuck my hand in hers and I almost pulled away, secretly loving her touch, this gesture. She then tuck my hair from my face behind my ear and I felt my head automatically rise with her touch.

'Look at me Jade.' I did. 'What happened?' I shook my head. 'Jade, please?' Her voice was so smooth and gentle , so calming and reassuring . The tears started falling again and she slowly moved closer and started rubbing my back with her hand.  
>How was she able to do this? To calm me so much, whist her closeness was burning a fire inside of me and giving me shivers all at once? 'Sshh Jade , it's okay , I'm here.' With that the tears seemed to stop again I forgot why I was crying. I don't know why I was crying in the first place , it definitely wasn't Beck.<p>

I tried to believe I loved him but recently he doesn't even cross my mind when were apart and now I don't feel anything.  
>'You don't hate me?' Why do I care if Tori hates me? I shouldn't , but I admit that I think that's what hurt the most hearing; that she hates me. I turned to her and her face looked confused and concerned at the same time.<p>

'Jade ... What...why would I hate you?' Her hand had stopped now but rested around my waist, still comforting me.  
>'Because I'm a horrible person and everyone hates me.'<p>

'Don't say that , I don't hate you, I l... I'm your friend , Jade. You're not a horrible person , I think you just don't like letting people in and some people take that as you being cold and bitter.'

I had no idea what to say, she just said that. No one really pays me that much attention and no one understands me at all but here comes Tori and... I don't even know.

'I..umm...thank-you.' She really did make me feel better , everything about her just ... Makes me happy.

She giggles and I smile at that . Her eyes sparkle and she has the most perfect grin on her face 'No problem. Why were you upset anyway?' She asked cautiously.

'I was upset?' Of course I was upset, stop getting lost in her amazing eyes '... Oh , sorry , I don't even remember anymore.' She chuckles again and rests her head on my shoulder.

'You seemed pretty down, Jade West doesn't just cry over anything.' Seriously , was the girl following me around all the time or something.

'Yeah well, Beck said you hated me.' A sort of shocked and flattered look went across her face but it was mostly confused.

'Really? That's it?' I nodded and she still looked confused.

'Oh and we broke up.' I really didn't care about Beck anymore and I guess I haven't for awhile now. I never loved him in the first place , it was just kind of easier.

'And you don't care?' Does she ever not look confused? It doesn't matter she looks cute... I didn't just think that! Cute?

'No.'

'But you cared that you thought I hated you?'

'I guess.'

'Why?' She was turning to face me now and looking into my eyes , she'd know if I lied.

'Don't make me say it Vega.'

'Say what?' She smirked at me, she wasn't so innocent.


	2. Letting Her In

**K.K. The Eevee**** because I'm evil like that and it means you want to read the next chapter. I'm guessing you want to read it a lot. Thank-you, I hope that this chapter gets the same response. **

**AnchorMeDown**** Thank-you I hope that you still like it once you've read more, I think it might get a bit weird but I don't know.**

'But you cared that you thought I hated you?'

'I guess.'

'Why?' She was turning to face me now and looking into my eyes, she'd know if I lied.

'Don't make me say it Vega.'

'Say what?' she smirked at me , she wasn't so innocent.

Xo

I was so stupid, I admitted it to her , and now what? I couldn't admit it to myself. What should it matter what anyone but her thought? It doesn't. It really doesn't, what was I thinking. How do I get her back? How did I get her in the first place?

Xo

Was this really a good idea? Telling her? I had been thinking about it for the past week of summer, ever since that day in the janitor's closet when I nearly told her but the school bell stopped me. I ran away, I got up and actually ran through the school and jumped into my car.

xo

*knock* *knock*

'Hey, Jade. What are you doing here?' God, what was the girl doing to me? Answering the door in her pajamas (considering it was 6pm in the holidays) which just happened to be short shorts and a vest top.

'I just... The bell went before we got chance to talk the other day so I thought...'

'Do you want to come in?'

'... I was thinking I could walk you somewhere and explain.'

'Sure, I'll just get changed. Come in, sit down.'

So I was now sat in Tori's living room whilst I couldn't help but imagine her changing out of her pajamas. What? I'm human and it's Tori! Have you seen her?

I was snapped out of it when she suddenly appeared in front of me. 'Hey, Jade. You really don't have trouble making yourself at home do you?' She noted on my current position with my boots up on her sofa. A soft giggle escaped her lips.

'Why would I? '

'No reason.' She smirked as I stood and quickly looked her up and down; she was wearing a purple vest top, black skinny jeans and black converse. She looked good but I think she caught me looking and cleared her throat.

'So...umm...yeah, we should go.' I said before quickly walking towards the door. I turned when I opened the door for her to see her just smiling at me, a beautiful smile.

'Hurry up, Vega.' I said in an off character sweet tone but she shortly complied.

...

'So, West where are we going?'

'Look, you see Vega, it's meant to be a surprise.' Copying her over perky tone. 'I just really hope you like it.' I whispered to myself, although we were walking really close down the street together so she probably heard it anyway. Our hands brushed occasionally and sparks shot through my body every time. I had denied this for far too long.

'Turn up there.' I point to a small gap between two fences.

'Seriously? Where are we going?'

'Yes, seriously. And so you not understand the meaning of a surprise.'

'...wait; Jade you're not... going to murder me now are you?'

I couldn't help but laugh, she just stared, confused. 'No, of course not. Look, I found this place when I ran away from home for the first time. I've never shown anyone else it but it's beautiful and I thought that you would appreciate it. I trust you, it's my secret place, and I just come here to calm down sometimes... or to cry. Okay? 'I felt so vulnerable at that moment I don't know how I would tell her the next part once we got to my spot. I thought she was going to laugh but she just walked towards me and put her arms around me, caught in her warm arms just proved my feelings more.

'Jade...' She pulled away. ' Thank-you, let's go then.'  
>With that I grabbed her wrist and pulled her (softly) towards the gap in the fence. I let her go first and she took the opportunity to take my hand in hers. I kept it as we now had to walk sideways through the small path.<p> 


	3. Clearing the Path

**A little something because I haven't updated in a really long time. **

Walking into the opening, I heard a gasp beside me. "Jade..." She breathed out, letting go of my hand and walking further out into the clearing of trees.

"What?"

"This is amazing."

I walk up to where she's stood half way down the slope. "You think?"

"Uh huh." She grasps my hand again and intertwined our fingers.

"I'm glad I brought you here, you look beautiful."

"I..."

"Let me say something before you do, please?"

"Sure?" I pulled her along with my hand so we could both sit on the giant rock at the top of the hill. It had small foot holes that had been worn down until they were almost steps that led up to the top. I let her climb first, making sure she didn't slip before following shortly after her. We sat hand in hand and listened to the stream following beside us before I started to talk.

"I'm not going to lie, the first day I saw you Tor, I hated you. You were all over my boyfriend and I'm a possessive bitch and I was happy throwing coffee over you. You started to grow on me after that, as a friend. It wasn't until you kissed your old boyfriend that I started to really like you, I saw the way you looked at him for that one second and guess what? I became a possessive bitch.

It killed me when Ryder was a complete jackass to you and I just wanted to destroy him but I couldn't get too involved because I was scared, that's a story for another day. I've overcome this fear now that I don't have Beck to take my feelings out on and I would really like it if you'd give me a chance and let me take you out on a date?"

"Wow...give me a second."

I did give her a second, about 325 by my count before she opened her mouth and my heart stopped beating like it was a caged animal.

"I'd be happy to go on a date with you, Jade West."

****"Thank-you."


	4. Harder Than I Thought This Would Be

**_Hi, this is kind of hard thing for me to ask but I'm taking this girl out on a date and well, I've never done that before. I don't want it to be some stupid typical date but I want her to like it too. Anyway, my point is could you please give me some ideas, it would be really helpful and I might even say thank-you for it. Oh and by the way, I'm in the Los Angeles area if that helps. _**

**_Thank-you for your time,_**

**_These Clowns Don't Bounce. _**

Yes, I just messaged some lesbian help blog on Tumblr, so what?

It's pathetic I know but, this is really my last resort. I can't think of anything that is not ridiculous sobby or stupid to do and it is really starting to stress me out. Why did I even ask her? This is completely ridiculous. I'll just call her and say I'm in hospital or something, yeah, that's a good idea. It's Vega though, she'd probably go to the hospital to look after me and maybe sing a really cheery song or something. Maybe I could just like break my leg or something so I could actually be in hospital or I'll just run away to Mexico.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

_08:23: Hey Jade, so I just wanted to make sure that you were still okay with the day tomorrow? I mean we don't have to do it still, I understand if you just want to not go or something, no hard feelings. Just tell me if you don't, please?_

_Tori xx_

**8:48: Vega. Do you have to be so well, you, all the time? I'm sorry if my past behaviour has made you question what I told you last week but yes I still want to take you on a date. I just might need some time. **

**Jade.**

_8:50 I got so scared when you didn't reply but, I guess you were asleep like any normal person, right? Anyway, I'm glad you still want to go. What do you need time for? _

_Vega x_

**8:55 I was just a little busy thinking about something, I've been awake since like 5 am. It's taking longer than expected to plan the whole thing so I don't know when I'll be ready.**

I refreshed my tumblr page as I waited for her reply, seeing that I had a new message in my inbox. It wasn't something I was used to so I was shocked a little at first.

**_Hi These Clowns Don't Bounce,_**

**_We're here for advice so you're not wasting our time so don't worry about that. All I can give you as advice really is to keep it simple, don't freak out if you think she's going to hate it. Think of something you'd like to do with her, something you'd enjoy and hopefully she'll love it too. Don't be afraid to go for something simple, this may sound stupid to you but if she's accepted a date with you she just wants to spend time with you, she won't mind where you go. Just KEEP IT SIMPLE, okay? Don't stress. _**

**_I hope this was helpful, _**

**_LJ _**

Simple, I can do simple. Simple is good. I have a reasonably good idea, I think. I'm really going to do this and it's going to be okay.

_9:03: Don't freak out about this, there is no need to worry or try to hard. I just want to spend time with you, the date doesn't have to be over the top._

**9:24: Thanks, Vega. I think I've got a plan now so it's going to be okay. Any chance that you are not busy today?**

_9:27 I'm as free as can be all day today. Why?_

**9:28 I'll be there at 1, be ready. Oh and you might want to bring a change of clothes so don't wear anything fancy, something very casual.**

_9:30 I'm slightly worried but I'll be sat by the door. See you then xx_

**9:31 See you soon, T xx**


End file.
